Subject: Jen wellness update #42 (14Nov00) See-saw
The only constant in this process is change, and being surprised at the things that turn out to be hard.
Things haven't been so good since my last upbeat update: in many ways
Jen feels worse now than whilst radiation therapy was ongoing. She's
catastrophically tired all the time. Irrationally, she feels guilty about
Physically she looks well, but as the nerves in her neck heal, and feel their way around to learn how to control things again, they do bad things. Often Jen has uncontrolled muscle spasms which (ironically, given how well she survived nausea during chemo) cause her to throw up.
As much as we can tell Jen that it's ok to lie low, and do very little, it doesn't stop her from becoming despondent that things will never return to normal.
We did get outside briefly on Sunday afternoon: it was warm enough (just) for us to visit Ocean beach - I flew the kite, and Jen sketched some.
A time, then, of laying a bit low .... roll on the passage of time. I'm thinking that 2001 will be better.
Years of the future: 1984, 2000 and 2001 - bet you never thought you'd see them!
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