Subject: Jen wellness update #60 (05Mar01) Signing Off
It really has been more than six weeks since Jen died. What have I done since then?
Aside from hosting two memorials and being sick with 'flu for awhile; well, I've been very quiet. Jen & Karl's place still looks very much like our place, and I've been 'being' in it. Karl's been very, very sad, and I haven't tried to stop those feelings. I've been doing some reading, and a little writing, and using the phone more than usual. I have flown the kite, and had a magical day out at Point Reyes.
I've utterly ignored current affairs: George W. Bush’s strange honeymoon—utterly overshadowed by the sprawling psychodrama of Bill Clinton’s last days in office—has ended. Funnily enough such headlines don't grab my attention of late. I've occasionally been accepting low-key social activities - usually dinner with friends.
I sometimes talk to Jen - but I don't know whether she hears me. I also worry that if she can hear me, then maybe so can everyone else who has ever died, including my father - and I want to say different things to each of them....
I returned to work on 1st March: forgot how much time that takes up.
I've let many, many shitty things slide; informing Jen's credit card companies, telling DMV, paying Jen's last medical bills. But one job I've worked very hard on is publishing all that Jen and I wrote together during her illness, and assembling a photograph album of her life.
I'm now happy enough with the web site to let you all know where it is. Please use the feedback button on the site to let me know what you think. Also, if any of you want to write something about Jen that is for public consumption, send it to me and I'll publish it on the site.
The site is http://www.jenperlman.com
keep visiting it over the coming months - it will undoubtedly change and mature - such is the joy of electronic publishing.
As I warned earlier, I'm now signing off from the Jen Wellness Updates series of emails. Thank you all so much for your responses; as Bill said, even though I didn't have the energy to reply to you all, your collective words were a source of comfort and sometimes inspiration. I intend to write to all of you individually over the next few weeks, but I can't match Jane and Larry's dedication: they hand-addressed 350 thank you cards over the last fortnight!
If you have any comments or problems with
this site please contact Karl